Beautifully said, sadly all together too familiar:
"I realized that I had never mourned the version of myself that did not have access to her queerness...
The version of myself that was very good at following rules that did not actually suit me."
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And I love this wholeheartedly. I celebrate and share in it. Thank you for sharing it publicly:
"I’m so sorry the world denied you full access to yourself. All the parts of you are beautiful. You did a good job of following the rules and that was what you needed to do to keep you safe and in belonging. You did a really good job and it is not your fault that you were not allowed to fully know yourself.
But it is sad. It is okay to be really, really sad about all the years you were separated from an important part of yourself.
That part of you understood the whole time.
The queer part of you is the free-est part of you and she was always there, dormant until you could show her the daylight.
Now it is safe to give her all the sunlight and water and nourishment that she needs. She will blossom. She will take up all the space she is meant to."
Beautifully said, sadly all together too familiar:
"I realized that I had never mourned the version of myself that did not have access to her queerness...
The version of myself that was very good at following rules that did not actually suit me."
---
And I love this wholeheartedly. I celebrate and share in it. Thank you for sharing it publicly:
"I’m so sorry the world denied you full access to yourself. All the parts of you are beautiful. You did a good job of following the rules and that was what you needed to do to keep you safe and in belonging. You did a really good job and it is not your fault that you were not allowed to fully know yourself.
But it is sad. It is okay to be really, really sad about all the years you were separated from an important part of yourself.
That part of you understood the whole time.
The queer part of you is the free-est part of you and she was always there, dormant until you could show her the daylight.
Now it is safe to give her all the sunlight and water and nourishment that she needs. She will blossom. She will take up all the space she is meant to."